Relationships and the Fear of Commitment

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Scientifically, the fear of commitment is a type of phobia. It is commonly called as the commitment phobia which refers to a person who is afraid of being committed to deep relationships, tasks, projects and responsibilities.

Have you ever known a person who has the fear of commitment? I have met and known several people who have the symptoms of this kind of phobia. Many of them find it difficult to decide on simple things. They find it hard to choose on what to eat during a dine-out in a restaurant, they can’t choose between two good movies, even on what to wear.

Let me share a quick narrative about a friend named Andy. He is a very close friend and he is a bachelor who makes good money. Girls are coming in and out of his life like the wind; and no relationship seemed to last, even the really “happy ones”. I suspected that he has fear of commitment. But he would not accept it, which in fact is another characteristic of a person who has a fear of commitment.

We had a conversation about it once. Here it goes:

Me: “Have you ever been in a serious relationship before?
Andy: “Nope.” He replied.
Me: “Why?”
Andy: “It is because I am not ready yet.”
Me: “What are the things that made you not ready?” I asked again. He simply shrugged his shoulders and paused.
Andy: “It is simply because I am afraid to commit to a woman, and I don’t want to get married at this time. I’m afraid that I may not handle the responsibilities of a father and a husband at the same time.”
Me: “Then you are one of those who are afraid of commitments or the fear of commitment.”
Andy: “Am I? I don’t think so…”

The fear of commitment makes it hard for you to decide on whatever you need to decide on especially if the future is at stake. Therefore, having a fear of commitment is not healthy at all. Fear of commitment can be triggered by various causes. It may start from childhood from which a person suffered from some traumatic experience, such as separation of parents, divorce, and death.

Fear of commitment can also be a result of poor role models in which the person may have witnessed offensive relationships. And worst the person may have been a victim of it. These experiences have a great impact on the person’s decision making and therefore the cause of development of their fear of commitment.

Fear of commitment can be defeated by different methods. The most common method used in overcoming this fear is hypnosis or hypnotherapy. So if you have friends who are suffering from a commitment phobia or fear of commitment, help them defeat it.

Photo Credit: FreeImages

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